[

mood

|

groggy

]

i hope my drawing and photography teacher isnt as lame as he appears. i cant stand having two classes with him for 2 hours each twice a day, two days a week... i think i might go mad! i mean he seems like a generally nice quiet person but hes so monotone, boring, and no apparent personality at all. my graphic design // 2Dimensional design teacher gives me the total opposite impression. hes really outspoken, opinionated, and has character. i hope i learn great things from him. and my composition professor is a complete 360 for me. never in my 14 years of public school have i had a male black doctor as a teacher. and to add hes 6'8! hes really direct and i can tell hes a good hardworking guy. its shitty bc all his papers will be MLA format which confuses the fuck out of me but i think ill get the hang of it. much more to share later, i just thought id key everyone in on my first impressions. hope all is well.

[	mood	|	happy	]
[	music	|	linkin park: hybrid theory	]

sunday was one the best days here in montreal. ally and i woke up at 8 in the morning to go to meet my uncle and cousin at the delta hotel. there we had an amazing breakfast. i had an omelette, mangerine oranges, and a crossiant. soon after talking with my persian uncle, my mom left to pick up my brother, so ally and i sat in a parking lot rolled and smoked a joint right in the middle of everything and everyone. after that i got pretty pissed because this bitch at the metro wouldnt let us use our tickets. we didnt have much money so we called chris to pick us up to go to tam-tam (which is their lingo for drum circle). therir drum circle owns ours. tam tam is on the base of mont -royal. since the main statue is under construction the drummers are pretty scattered throughout the mountain. after smoking a spliff we set out to hike the mountain. sean was lost at the top so we had to find him. it has been so long since ive done that much endurance... it took us an hour and half to get to the top. we found sean, smoked again, and then traveled downhill. downhill was way harder on my bones. uphill was harder on my muscles. we made it to the car and then we went home. i had a throbbing headache from the sun and excerise so i took a nap. then i watched almost famous. that movie was is so good.

monday was a rough day. had a nice conversation with wesley and then hell broke loose. my siblings went to the pool and i decided to stay home to help my mom clean up a little bit. so i swept and mopped the floors along with washing the dishes and doing laundry. then my mom left and my siblings came home. ally started screaming at me for transporting her stuff into her room and then it escalated into a brawl. i left to shake things off at the park. me and my mom met up and talked for awhile...that made me feel better. soon after i had a beer and had dinner with everyone. dinner was outside, kinda too windy for my taste. my evening wasnt too interesting but it was nice getting drunk for the first time.

now its tuesday, EXACTLY ONE WEEK TILL MY RETURN!!! im continually cleaning, for this is our last day in this apartment on rue fabre. ready to stay with david in mcgill ghetto. i think were getting some herb later too, that will be nice.

[

mood

|

cold

]

halfway to home
and halfway to hell.

[	mood	|	mellow	]
[	music	|	pink floyd: meddle	]

i believe i left off around monday so ill start on tuesday. my siblings and i got bitched at for a lot of things around the apartment; some things i can understand but some are strange like making sure the shower curtain sticks to both walls while your showering! its alright though, im still making an effort to please them because im grateful for living here in this magnificent place. later that night we went to one of my moms favorite clubs called the spectrum where we saw a local band, from first to last (i didnt fancy them too much), and the deftones. the show was pretty spectaluar due to the lighting, bill, and vocal effects. even got to drink a beer... that was nice. but then it sucked bc sean lost my wool brown beanie while moshing and i really felt emo about missing everything. the end of the night i was in tears but i know every little thing is gonna be alright. 

yesterday was a nice, clear day. the temperature is really moderate; always with a breeze. im hardly ever cold but it is the summertime. ally and i went on a walk to find a place to do our laundry. we were sick of washing our clothes in a 5 minute cycle and then air drying them. so we went to a laundry mat with the cool hindu man. he noticed my tattoo and was very talkive with us. its funny how doing your wash could be so relieveing. the way it smelt, the warmness, and the softness made us feel so fucking happy! then we relaxed at home for awhile and then went to one of montreals contempory art muesums. we saw a huge exhibit of bruce neuman, a neon light artist. his work was wild both the graphics and the colors. one of his works said, " a true artist helps the world by revealing mystic truths." i felt that was really true... i liked that. we saw other art like music videos, paintings, and other mixed media. it was different and more outspoken here in the name of art. after an hour or so ally and i took the metro to the julep where they were having classic car night. so many sweet rides. by the end of the night, all we wanted to do was smoke and chill out so we went to davids. smoked and my brother played guitar. 

last night was kinda rough with wes but i dont need to go in details about that. i just feel in limbo about his situation back in florida and its burdened me a little on my trip. but i shouldnt worry till the first of august. 

this morning we went to the community pool... that reminded me of home. the cool water with everyone in bathing suits. it felt pleasant to warm my bones in the sun and cool down from this heat in the cold water. now im here hungry and high. maybe ill read my book or draw at the park. peace and love friends.

[	Current Location	|	in my head	]
[	mood	|	indifferent	]
[	music	|	pink floyd: pulse	]

let me start out by saying i hate technology. it always fucks with me. seeing how it makes me react when it breaks, deletes two whole paragraphs, or whatever the fuck else it wants. i hate how i still depend so much on materialism. its pathetic how it can piss me off so fast or burden my thoughts for days on end. i cant get my camera fixed here, their technician is out on vacation for a month and no one else can fix it here. i guess i have to try toronto next and then the states. then its really over...no camera. :( 

i really didnt start typing all negative but after it deleted all i wrote i needed to vent a little.

i miss wesley brandt smeltzer very much. wish he could be here more than others. they dont appreciate that we are in a new place that has so much to explore and investigate that we dont have in sarasota. im sure its do to their age and their ties to technology but i have the same flaws. 

the last 3 nights ive resided at le buddhi lounge. weve all met the owner larry and his employee casey. i think they are in their late twenties but im not sure. im definately not going there tonight bc of this crazy lady i met. she was piss drunk and kept telling me over and over about her half native american daughter and how she loves her bc shes one with the universe. she said i reminded her of her and for me to never forget that... i doubt i could if i wanted to. but then she was taunting my mom and then left when we did with her date. it was quite strange and plus i can fucking go anywhere! why have i been settling for going to the same place bc they allow my siblings to chill? my mom and i are seeing the deftones tomorrow night. went to my family's restuarant today. got some free food and t-shirts. i also went into a pretty badass record store. there pretty oldschool like the ones you see in movies... really long shops with records, cds, tapes, mechandise, the works. not the fye shit but the real deal. got a sick led zeppelin textile poster for my apartment. i know wes will love it. i think im seeing a foreign film with my uncle tonight. that should be fun.

i forgot to add that i went to this play last night in the park as well as watching french fireworks. both of which were really entertaining. i enjoyed both very much. thank god for my music too. without it id go crazzzy.

(im sure no one reads this shit but its my only record :()

[	mood	|	jubilant	]
[	music	|	pink floyd: wish you were here	]

wish you were here. enjoying the clear blue sky. on this mid july day. in the summer that changed our lives. here beside me in this empty room. reflecting on the past few days. and the freedom of it all. its amazing, it truely is. how much i love you.

so yesterday was a chaotic one. my sister accidentally broke my new digital camera. we walked for miles in the freezing rain and found ourselves constantly taking detours to find our way home. but we also ventured into the buddhi lounge. this underground psychedelic heaven was just what the doctor prescribed. we had mango sesha and egyptian hot tea. the lights, music, and energy all helped us tone down the stresses of the day. the first thing i did this morning was help my uncle place tiles down so he could park his VW bus in the back. after that we rode bicycles throughout the city. first going to a portuguese restuarant that make authentic chicken sandwichs and fried bar-be-que potatoes. then we went to the 5 story library. that was incredible. then we sat in the grass and watched the nuits d'afrique(an african arts festival) and enjoyed the peaceful, rythmic beats. after departing from my uncle, my siblings and i went 'shopping' down saint-lauren rue. there we got precisely what we asked for; and at a decent price. its remarkable how easy it is to get something so overpriced in the states. an eighth of killa canadia for 40 bucks. wtf is that? badass as fuck. i just ate some pretty amazing food. my meals have been mainly organic which makes me happy. im also getting tons of exercise. i feel refreshed and ready to go out to play. i deserve a fun night out :)

 

311 and MATISYAHU fucking rocked wednesday. pictures soon!

[

mood

|

exhausted

]

• the funeral of my grandfather was probably one of the most difficult things ive had to face in years. he was my safe net friend and mentor that can never be replaced. it was a great loss for me.
•  i have finalized my apartment in palatka, such a relief that i finally have my own place to live in peace. but still the worries of paying tons of bills now will be with me to the end.
• leaving for canada in just 4 days now. im so anxious to break out and experience a new world in a new country. their ways of life intrigue me and for the opportunity of going i am truely grateful but also in my 20 day journey i will miss my loved ones dearly.
• school starts in a month. really nervous about it all. ready to figure my career out and get better at everything i do in the world of art. hope the school helps me in contrary to the school system ive been so sick of that hinders students and their creativity. but only time will tell me that. i long for an education that makes me feel at home instead of jail.
• im back with my dear wesley. never has anyone been so sympathetic and compassionate to my wants and needs. i only hope that his transformation into adulthood coinsides with mine. the decision is all his.
• and finally my growth of admiration to my parents, especially my mother. im so lucky to have guidance and respect from her. i see so many young people resent their parents. they can be such useful tools when growing up if u allow them to help you. i would not be the successful teenager i am today without them. i am very thankful that we share the love and respect for eachother as we do.
• oh and one last thing. i finally got my jeep fixed. its really the only materialistic value, id hate to live without. transportation is essential with keeping ties to my hometown and my goals.